Fifteen

Why selling my novel to an incredible publisher feels like being fifteen

AT FIFTEEN MY life transformed. An explosion of influences—social media, illegally streamed cinema, punk rock, cannabis, and binge drinking—plus moving from my drab community college in suburbia to a peculiar school in the heart of Dublin city together altered my life so radically it felt like renewal. Like a second chance.

At fifteen, I was reborn.

That was eighteen years ago, and once again I am celebrating a fifteenth anniversary of sorts. Because it could be said that, fifteen years ago, at eighteen, I took the first tentative step on the path to becoming a professional novelist.

Of course, I had written before then, having first attempted a novel at ten years old (which, appropriately and hilariously, was a crime thriller), but, after a mid-teen transition into music as my raison d’être (including a diploma and BA in Music Production, all eight grades of Drum Performance, and joining three bands), it turned out that music—which, crucially, involves other people—was not, in fact, my calling.

To this antisocial weirdo the written word called once again. And while five more years would pass before I got serious about the craft and the prospect of a career, in the interim came another novel attempt, this one disastrous and insane—but intoxicating. I was a writer.

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IN NOVEMBER 2025, at thirty-two years old, still antisocial, still a loner, if a married one, I sold my third novel, epic thriller American Fury, to legendary UK crime publisher No Exit Press, now under Bedford Square.

The hardback publishes in spring 2027. It’s around 148,000 words, 650 pages, and burns with rage and rebellion. I put everything I had into it, and I’m excited for people to read it.

While this is my third novel, it feels in many respects like a new beginning, the close of one era and dawn of another. Just like how I felt at fifteen.

I wrote a bit about American Fury last year, after I finished the first draft, and I will wait for the official promo to begin before I elaborate.

Central to the story, though, is a tragic coming-of-age tale which follows the main character at the ripe age of—you guessed it. Although my youth did not involve neo-Nazis and white rage in a small city in Northern California, this section of the novel is nonetheless the most personal my fiction has come, and my favorite.

As I await the promo, I’m working on my next project. In the meantime, here is a mix¹ I made that encapsulates, to me, how it felt to be fifteen.

1. Hotline TNT - Protocol

2. Beach Slang - Kids

3. The Pains of Being Pure at Heart - Young Adult Friction

4. Mannequin Pussy - Emotional High

5. Japandroids - Younger Us

6. Title Fight - Safe in Your Skin

7. Title Fight - Where Am I?

8. Germs - Manimal

9. Suicidal Tendencies - Institutionalized

10. OFF! - Panic Attack

11. Joyce Manor - Violent Inside

12. Title Fight - Dreamcatchers

13. Angel Du$t - Take My Love

14. Nightmare Boyzzz - Problem Child

15. Cerebral Ballzy - Drug Myself Dumb

16. Mom Jeans - Shred Cruz

17. Joyce Manor - Heart Tattoo

18. Remember Sports - Saturday

19. Momma - Callin Me

20. Mannequin Pussy - Romantic

21. Basement - Covet

22. Turnstile - Underwater Boi

23. Nourished by Time - Idiot in the Park

24. Hotline TNT - Spot Me 100

1. I have submitted this mix to NTS Radio’s latest iteration of Supporter Radio, and if selected, I will replace this MP3 file with an embed or link to the official NTS playlist